Rare is the family that has outlived its telephone number.
We knew this when we were given our number by the phone
company upon our moving into this house. We knew we
might get the occasional call from someone looking for the
previous phone subscriber. We knew we might have to
politely decline goods and services from telemarketers
fortunate enough to have our number on their lists from
prior transactions. We knew our phone number came
with a little bit of history from before our time.
We knew this when we were given our number by the phone
company upon our moving into this house. We knew we
might get the occasional call from someone looking for the
previous phone subscriber. We knew we might have to
politely decline goods and services from telemarketers
fortunate enough to have our number on their lists from
prior transactions. We knew our phone number came
with a little bit of history from before our time.
But imagine our reaction to discover this little bit of
history included crime and a couple of fugitives! Tax-
evading fugitives, to be exact, being looked for by lots
and lots of people in addition to the police: news
reporters looking for interviews, former clients,
coworkers....... Probably more callers have asked to
speak to the pair of outlaws than to us. After enough
involuntary phone conversations with strangers , we
now know a fair bit about The People Who Once Owned
Our Number. And we are now also able to efficiently
deflect inquiries about their whereabouts.
history included crime and a couple of fugitives! Tax-
evading fugitives, to be exact, being looked for by lots
and lots of people in addition to the police: news
reporters looking for interviews, former clients,
coworkers....... Probably more callers have asked to
speak to the pair of outlaws than to us. After enough
involuntary phone conversations with strangers , we
now know a fair bit about The People Who Once Owned
Our Number. And we are now also able to efficiently
deflect inquiries about their whereabouts.
Last Saturday, Dave was reading the papers and said,
"Hey - you're in the papers!"
"Hey - you're in the papers!"
Yes, I am.
In an article about Them.
Not my first choice for how to burst into the public eye.
Oh well.
P.S. I also know a bit about the person who used to own
my mobile phone number. I've had a few calls from people
asking me if I "did alterations". One particularly desperate
client, when told this number had been reassigned,
actually asked me if I happened to do alterations too. I
was very tempted to say, "no, but I sew bibs. Want any?"
I didn't. Drats. Should've.
4 comments:
Well, my dear, your claim to be A Famous Public Figure needs a bit of substantiation. I will grant that you are now A Public Figure, but the Famous part depends entirely on which newspaper carried the story. If it was the New York Times I'm afraid that you would be An Ordinary Public Figure. If, however, the story appeared in Thisweek Burnsville-Eagan, then you are absolutely and without question A Famous Public Figure. And if it was the TBE, we can only hope that the Times will eventually pick up the story from AP, UPI, Reuters, and other news agencies that will soon be promoting it. But whether Famous or Ordinary Public Figure, congratulations from someone who isn't a Public Figure at all.
While it is thrilling to be "a famous public figure", you have to wonder if the writer thought that was information readers actually needed to know. Were they trying to impress people with their investigative prowess?
We watched a story on our TV news recently about a lately who was arrested for driving dangerously. The clever reporter also told us, "Her husband has received a speeding ticket in the last year. However, he was not involved in the incident. Another person of the same last name - possibly a relative - has also received a speeding ticket."
Nate and I were shocked by the investigative ... irrelevance.
Yes, Joy - some reporters will say anything, I've heard. They bring new meaning to "clutch at straws" at times. You'd think something as unsubstantiated as "possibly a relative", unless this last name is Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious could be grounds for a libel suit.
Arne - it was the Star Tribune. So I am now well known beyond the city limits of B-E but still able to walk the streets of NYC without being hounded by the press and autograph-hunters.
This is fantastic.
On another note: Being famous = not all it's cut out to be. I know.
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